Strengthen your relationship through marriage counseling/couples therapy
Do you frequently feel angry toward your partner? Are you distant from one another? Has your sex life become unsatisfying or frustrating? Do you find you are both "keeping score" and feel resentful about how much work you do in home life? Do you know how to have a fair fight in your relationship, or are your conflicts characterized by destructive anger? Are you on the same page in your co-parenting relationship?
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can effectively address these concerns, and move a couple toward a more respectful and loving partnership with deepened intimacy. I have been working with traditional and non-traditional couples for 30 years. Having been married for 28 years myself, I understand that a vital, responsive, and adaptable marriage takes an ongoing commitment of time and energy.
If the partnership is in a serious crisis, couples therapy is essential; it can provide perspective and tools to repair the relationship. If a couple has children, making a commitment to couples counseling is an especially important investment in the emotional health and well being of the entire family. A healthy marriage functions as the container for family life, and can produce security necessary for the optimal development of children.
In my approach to couples counseling, repairing or improving a struggling relationship involves:
- Understanding the fit between each person in the couple in terms of temperament, style, personality and history
- Using this information to develop more effective communication style and problem-solving strategies
- Increasing empathy and intimacy between partners.
Understanding what's going on
Painful conflicts in a couple's relationship can have origins in earlier history. Marital difficulties can trigger strong emotional responses that can remind people, consciously or unconsciously, of painful relationships or events from early life. Without examining patterns of the past in a shared, conscious process, the couple can be at risk of acting out old unresolved history. In times of stress, people often fall back into old patterns, or withdraw, which can widen the distance between partners.
Taking a detailed history from each partner is crucial to healing as part of couples counseling. Understanding your own emotional wounds and those of your partner is critical. This process is often at the heart of a successful course of couples therapy, and directly results in increased empathy and compassion between partners.
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can be very helpful for the following circumstances:
- Premarital counseling—do you have a good awareness of the fit between you and your future partner, and understand the influence of your early relationships of what you want in a marriage?
- Co-parenting conflicts—are you in disagreement regarding child rearing and discipline issues, how do you blend different styles of parenting?
- Is there a crisis around health or career changes? How can you become an effective team in order to face these stresses in a way that brings you closer?
- Divorce therapy—is the relationship ruptured beyond repair? Couples can, at this difficult time, be in therapy to reduce destructiveness of the divorce, assist with the grieving process, support the co-parenting relationship, if there are kids, and help parents assist there children in dealing with the loss they experience regarding the division of the family.
To set up an appointment for marriage counseling and couples therapy, please call me at 831-423-7027. I will return your call within a day. Or contact me by email.
At my Santa Cruz office, conveniently located between downtown Santa Cruz and the Seabright area, I offer couples therapy and individual and family counseling and therapy. I also specialize in child therapy, including art and play therapy
Please call 831-423-7027 to schedule an appointment or discuss your specific needs.
The images on this site are from "The Lost Star" children's book I am currently writing, and were taken by Michael Strong.
